this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
