There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
