he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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