Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
