I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize