You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize