I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
