this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
