If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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