You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
