If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
