I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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