i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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