He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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