You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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