I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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