butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
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Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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