You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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