do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize