you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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