you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
