Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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