Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
