first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
