Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Let's paint friendship bongs
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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