Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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