my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
