hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
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seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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