mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
A+ Viking dick
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