Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
