Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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