How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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