Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
