I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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