All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
