Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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