Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize