I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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