Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
