No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
