Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
