All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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