I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize