thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
