we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
