So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize