and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
