Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
