I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize