no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
