I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
