You can't special order awesome
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Green mimosas i think yes
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
