I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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