Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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