low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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