I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
